Buying Love Teaser

I don’t remember the ride back to the hotel. Carlisle had given me one of my anti-anxiety pills and a pain pill. I was numb, for which I was eternally grateful. I needed numb. The constant pain from my injuries and now my broken heart from Esme taking my mom, it was too much. I also felt badly for yelling at Bella. The pain in her eyes was almost too much to bear as I blamed her for everything.

She didn’t deserve my anger. If anything, I was the one to blame. It was my fault that the two women I loved were in this position. Bella was in danger because of Esme and was a walking target. My mom was an innocent bystander and would probably be killed because of Esme’s maliciousness. If that happened, I don’t know what I’d do.

Death sounds like a good option.

I shook off Esme’s evil voice from my mind, encouraging me to end it all. I couldn’t. I had to stay strong, though I didn’t have any strength left. I was so done.

“Edward, do you want anything to eat?” Bella asked, her voice quiet and her actions hesitant.

“I’m not hungry,” I whispered. “Just tired.”

“I can imagine,” she said, reaching for my hand. I let her take it, but I felt guilty accepting any sort of comfort from her. My mom was suffering because of me. I didn’t deserve anything that Bella was giving me. Her generosity, her kindness, her love … I truly was worthless. “Edward, I can see the hamster working in your head. Don’t go there.”

“Why not?” I asked, taking my hand back. “My mom is in this position because of me. It’s my fault! Everything is my fault!”

“It’s not, Edward,” she said, her tiny hands taking my face. She forced me to look at her. “Esme fucked your mind up so much that you don’t understand that she’s the one at fault. Not you! She’s the monster.”

*Sorry about my slacking with my teasers. My mind has been on other things, like where I was going to be working next year because a complete reworking of the schedule at the middle school level. I found out yesterday my placement. I'm excited to say that I'm now a choir director, but in a new building. I'm grateful for knowing and happy for the new opportunity, but bittersweet because I'm leaving my current school.*