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“Kid, I love you and all, but my old legs are fucking killing me,” Carlisle said, rubbing my back. “You may be young and spry, but I’ve got a fake hip that needs to move.”

I pulled back, sitting on my ass and wiping my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll go …” I got up and Carlisle dragged me by the arm to the couch in his suite.

“You put your ass on that couch and talk to me about why you’re so upset,” Carlisle said, sitting down next to me. “I mean, I could figure it out that it has to do with Jared, but there’s more.”

“You’re right,” I snorted humorlessly. “I went to my mom first and I just couldn’t get past her abandoning me. I know that I’m working on that, but I’m still struggling. I still have a ton of resentment toward her. Carmen asked me how grieved for my father and I said that I didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you?” Carlisle asked.

“Because I had to take over where my dad left off,” I said, sitting forward and thrusting my hands into my hair. “Mom was useless and we had to make sure that …”

“You became the man of the house,” Carlisle murmured. I nodded, looking at him and trying not to cry again. You’re such a pussy, Edward. It’s no wonder why Charlie hates you. “Your wounds, both physical and emotional, are still so raw right now. It’s going to take a lot of time before you can truly forgive your mom, grieve for your dad, heal from your ordeal and move past all of this. If that’s even possible. There is no magical cure-all for that, Edward. I just know that your mom is probably beating herself up over what she did.”

“She is treating me like I’m still her little boy. Her sweet boy. I’m not that anymore. I’m not sweet,” I spat.

“Bella would disagree. She loved that Christmas picnic you planned for you two,” Carlisle said, his lips curving into a crooked smirk. “That was definitely very sweet.”

“I’m sweet to her because I adore her,” I shrugged. “But, I can’t be the same to my mom. Not after knowing that it was her coping mechanism to shut down and abandon me. I love her, yes, but I can’t go back to the way things were before my dad died. When he died, so did I, when I had to become the person who made decisions for both of us.” I took off my glasses, pinching my nose. “On top of all these feelings with my mom, I’m struggling with the death of Jared and the contents of that envelope.”

“What was it?” Carlisle asked. “Emmett was pretty secretive about the details. I knew that it was a revised will, but that was it …”

“He left me everything, Carlisle,” I breathed. “His house, his car, money in two bank accounts and a life insurance policy. It was all transferred to my name and signed by Marcus Volturi and another witness. He also left me instructions for his death, what he wanted to be done.”

“And what’s that?” Carlisle questioned, his face open and his eyes filled with concern.

 “He wanted to be cremated with a memorial,” I said. “I just don’t think that’s enough!”

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“Kid, I love you and all, but my old legs are fucking killing me,” Carlisle said, rubbing my back. “You may be young and spry, but I’ve got a fake hip that needs to move.”

I pulled back, sitting on my ass and wiping my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll go …” I got up and Carlisle dragged me by the arm to the couch in his suite.

“You put your ass on that couch and talk to me about why you’re so upset,” Carlisle said, sitting down next to me. “I mean, I could figure it out that it has to do with Jared, but there’s more.”

“You’re right,” I snorted humorlessly. “I went to my mom first and I just couldn’t get past her abandoning me. I know that I’m working on that, but I’m still struggling. I still have a ton of resentment toward her. Carmen asked me how grieved for my father and I said that I didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you?” Carlisle asked.

“Because I had to take over where my dad left off,” I said, sitting forward and thrusting my hands into my hair. “Mom was useless and we had to make sure that …”

“You became the man of the house,” Carlisle murmured. I nodded, looking at him and trying not to cry again. You’re such a pussy, Edward. It’s no wonder why Charlie hates you. “Your wounds, both physical and emotional, are still so raw right now. It’s going to take a lot of time before you can truly forgive your mom, grieve for your dad, heal from your ordeal and move past all of this. If that’s even possible. There is no magical cure-all for that, Edward. I just know that your mom is probably beating herself up over what she did.”

“She is treating me like I’m still her little boy. Her sweet boy. I’m not that anymore. I’m not sweet,” I spat.

“Bella would disagree. She loved that Christmas picnic you planned for you two,” Carlisle said, his lips curving into a crooked smirk. “That was definitely very sweet.”

“I’m sweet to her because I adore her,” I shrugged. “But, I can’t be the same to my mom. Not after knowing that it was her coping mechanism to shut down and abandon me. I love her, yes, but I can’t go back to the way things were before my dad died. When he died, so did I, when I had to become the person who made decisions for both of us.” I took off my glasses, pinching my nose. “On top of all these feelings with my mom, I’m struggling with the death of Jared and the contents of that envelope.”

“What was it?” Carlisle asked. “Emmett was pretty secretive about the details. I knew that it was a revised will, but that was it …”

“He left me everything, Carlisle,” I breathed. “His house, his car, money in two bank accounts and a life insurance policy. It was all transferred to my name and signed by Marcus Volturi and another witness. He also left me instructions for his death, what he wanted to be done.”

“And what’s that?” Carlisle questioned, his face open and his eyes filled with concern.

 “He wanted to be cremated with a memorial,” I said. “I just don’t think that’s enough!”

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I was sitting anxiously in a conference room at the Seattle Courthouse. Bella was with me, as well as Rose and Carlisle. Uncle Peter was working at Swan Towers and Emmett had begun investigating a new case. Liam was in the grand jury room with Jasper. Alice was waiting outside of the room, praying that her husband wouldn’t completely melt down. Jared was going to testify after lunch and then the case would go to the grand jury.

“Edward, you’re going to gnaw off your fingers,” Bella said, lowering my thumb from my mouth. I’d started biting my nails during my time in Port Angeles and it only got worse the more anxious I became.

“Sorry,” I whispered. “I just hope that Jasper is okay. You know?”

“He’s been working with Dr. Benson and his own therapist down in Los Angeles. He’s doing much better since I met them in mid-October,” Bella said. “At least, that’s what Alice said.”

“I’ll just be happy once the two of them are in here,” I said, bringing my thumb back to my mouth. Bella snorted, taking my hand and twining our fingers together. I smiled sheepishly.

Shortly after our argument about my fingers, Alice and Jasper came into the conference room. Jasper was pale and covered in sweat. His movements were jerky and he was deep in a panic attack. “Jazzy, you’re safe,” Alice cooed, reaching into her purse. She pulled out a bottle of medication. Rose got up and handed her a water bottle. “Deep breaths, Jazz. Esme will pay for her crimes. You will help put her away.”

“Put her away,” Jasper choked out, gripping Alice’s jacket. Their foreheads touched and he calmed, slightly. Alice managed to give Jasper the medicine she took out and she breathed him, slowly and deeply. Jasper even went so far as putting his gnarled hand on Alice’s chest, feeling her heartbeat. With one more deep breath, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. “I’m sorry, Ali. I’m so sorry.”

“Shhhhhhhhhhh, you’re okay, Jazzy,” Alice said, scratching her fingers in his hair. He looked up, cupping her face and kissed her tenderly. 

Seattle Courthouse

Alice Whitlock

Jasper Whitlock

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With the help of my mom, Uncle Peter and some very helpful employees of Swan Towers, Jessica being the most enthusiastic, I had managed to set up a winter wonderland in Bella’s foyer and suite. Rose had mentioned that Bella hadn’t had a proper Christmas since her mother died. Charlie was always too busy with work and Riley, her ex-husband, didn’t believe in any of this. Christmas was one of the few pleasant memories I had and I wanted to recreate that. Granted, Christmas was a few days away, I needed to set up her home for the holidays. I had yet to get her a Christmas present, but I wanted to do this.

In addition to the decorations, I also made some food for us. It wasn’t gourmet, but healthy and filled with protein, which we both needed. Plus, I called down to room service for a dessert tray, filled with tasty morsels of their best desserts. That was in the fridge.

When Bella came back out of her … our bedroom, she looked so innocent and sweet. Her sleek hair had been pulled back into a messy ponytail and her alabaster skin was scrubbed free of the makeup she wore. Her gait was still uneven and her legs still didn’t cooperate at times, but she was getting stronger. Giggling, she sat down and proclaimed that this was the best date ever.

“I beg to differ, Bella. It’s not much,” I blushed.

“Seriously, you don’t know what it’s like. If you’re single, you have to go through all of this bullshit to get a man. Tight skirts, skin-baring tops, makeup and coy flirtation. Being able to enjoy a date at home, in pajamas? That’s fucking awesome,” she smiled. She plucked an olive from the antipasto tray. 

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It was just before Christmas and I was cleared to go home.

Finally.

I could have gone home sooner, but I caught a cold, which turned into an upper-respiratory infection and then turned into bronchitis, morphing into pneumonia. My immune system was shot because of the damage to my lung. I lost nearly two weeks of recovery time because I was chained to my bed with my oxygen and nebulizer. The doctor even went so far as suggesting intubating me, but I adamantly refused. That meant being put under again and no. Not gonna happen.

After that, I had to start from scratch for everything. Despite the fact that Embry came in to work with me on my leg exercises in my room, I still lost most of the momentum I’d gained from being at the rehabilitation hospital.

Though, when I did walk my one hundred yards, unassisted, I felt so proud. It was even better than when I got my master’s degree. However, at the end of my walk, Edward whooped and scooped me in his arms, hugging me so tightly, murmuring that he loved me. I broke down in tears, clinging to him. He sat down on one of the instruments of torture in the gym, holding me in his lap. “No crying, bellissima,” he cooed, wiping my tears away. “This is a good thing. You get to go home, now.”

“But, where’s home?” I whispered.

“What do you mean?” he replied.

I sobered up, noticing that everyone had left. Carlisle and Rose had been there, cheering me on, but obviously gave me some privacy to talk to Edward. “I don’t feel comfortable staying at the hotel, Edward. With the situation with my dad and all.”

“Where could you go?” Edward asked, his hand gently rubbing my back.

“I don’t own any property. The house from my marriage, Riley got to keep it since I had always planned on staying in the penthouse at Swan Towers,” I sighed. “I can’t exactly go out and search for a house. That hundred yards kicked my ass.”

“Also, keep in mind that you’re going to be testifying for the grand jury next week,” Edward gently reminded me. “Bella, as far as you know, your father is still on the other side of the world, scoping out locations for his next new luxury resort. That doesn’t make it right. He should be here for you. If he loved you as much as he said he did, he would have never left, despite your suggestion.”

“You’re so fucking intelligent,” I said, leaning my head against his shoulder. “How did you get to be so smart?”

“I’m not smart, Bella. I just speak from the heart,” he shrugged. 

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I was released from the hospital the day following Charlie’s explosion. I went directly to Bella’s side and I sat next to her for an hour, begging for forgiveness. However, it felt wrong for me to be there. I was not her family. I was this parasite and she didn’t need that. I kissed her temple, murmuring my love for her and I left the hospital. I started walking, ending up at a marina.

“Fancy seeing you here,” said a male voice. I turned around, seeing Peter smoking a cigarette. “Carlisle said that you had been released, but I figured that you’d be with Bella.”

“I’m not family. I have no right to be there,” I said.

“Fucking Charlie,” Peter snapped. “You are as much a part of our family as I am.” He walked toward me, tossing the cigarette onto the ground. “I love my brother, but he tends to talk out of his ass when he’s emotional. He knew what you had endured and yet, he still attacked. I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged. “I need to learn to deal with it,” I whispered. “I’m not good for her.”

“Bullshit,” Peter said. “I remember seeing you two at the opening of Swan Towers. My niece had a light in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in years, since her mother passed away. And there was something about you that seemed linked to her.”

“But, you know what happened to me and what my life was. I was a whore,” I spat. “Women used me, abused me and I got paid for it.”

“Edward, I know why you did it and it wasn’t because you had a choice. Esme, she forced you,” Peter replied. “But, I can say that until I’m blue in the face and it won’t make a lick of difference until you actually believe it, Edward. Do you love my niece?”

“With my entire heart,” I said. “But, I’m not go …”

“You are good enough. You’re a loving, kind man, despite all that happened to you. Yes, you’re dealing with a lot of bullshit right now, but we’re all in your corner. Charlie will come around. If he doesn’t, I’ll kick his ass,” Peter snorted, winking at me.

“Why do all of you believe in me?” I asked. “I can’t even believe in myself.”

“Because you’re still alive and here, Edward. You could have curled up and given up, but you didn’t. You fought your way out, with a little help from a spitfire named Bella,” Peter said. “Now, let’s get you back inside. I only came out here since I wanted a smoke. It’s freezing out here!”

Uncle Peter Swan

Edward Masen

Port Angeles Marina

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I was released from the hospital the day following Charlie’s explosion. I went directly to Bella’s side and I sat next to her for an hour, begging for forgiveness. However, it felt wrong for me to be there. I was not her family. I was this parasite and she didn’t need that. I kissed her temple, murmuring my love for her and I left the hospital. I started walking, ending up at a marina.

“Fancy seeing you here,” said a male voice. I turned around, seeing Peter smoking a cigarette. “Carlisle said that you had been released, but I figured that you’d be with Bella.”

“I’m not family. I have no right to be there,” I said.

“Fucking Charlie,” Peter snapped. “You are as much a part of our family as I am.” He walked toward me, tossing the cigarette onto the ground. “I love my brother, but he tends to talk out of his ass when he’s emotional. He knew what you had endured and yet, he still attacked. I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged. “I need to learn to deal with it,” I whispered. “I’m not good for her.”

“Bullshit,” Peter said. “I remember seeing you two at the opening of Swan Towers. My niece had a light in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in years, since her mother passed away. And there was something about you that seemed linked to her.”

“But, you know what happened to me and what my life was. I was a whore,” I spat. “Women used me, abused me and I got paid for it.”

“Edward, I know why you did it and it wasn’t because you had a choice. Esme, she forced you,” Peter replied. “But, I can say that until I’m blue in the face and it won’t make a lick of difference until you actually believe it, Edward. Do you love my niece?”

“With my entire heart,” I said. “But, I’m not go …”

“You are good enough. You’re a loving, kind man, despite all that happened to you. Yes, you’re dealing with a lot of bullshit right now, but we’re all in your corner. Charlie will come around. If he doesn’t, I’ll kick his ass,” Peter snorted, winking at me.

“Why do all of you believe in me?” I asked. “I can’t even believe in myself.”

“Because you’re still alive and here, Edward. You could have curled up and given up, but you didn’t. You fought your way out, with a little help from a spitfire named Bella,” Peter said. “Now, let’s get you back inside. I only came out here since I wanted a smoke. It’s freezing out here!”

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Watching Bella walk out that door was harder than I anticipated. I collapsed onto the couch, curling up in the fetal position as Carlisle sat in front of me on the overstuffed chair. “She’ll be back, son.”

“My … need for her is not normal, Carlisle,” I said. “I shouldn’t be this attached.”

“She showed you kindness. You latched on and you feel safe with her, like she’ll protect you. Knowing Bella, she will,” Carlisle chuckled.

“She shouldn’t have protect me. I should be protecting her,” I growled. Looking down at my frail, broken body, I wasn’t in any shape to protect anyone. “She’ll be okay with Detective McCarty, right?”

“Emmett is one of the best officers in the force, Edward. He’ll protect her. Plus, they’re going to the courthouse, which is protected beyond recognition, with metal detectors and armed guards all throughout the complex. If Esme tried to get through, she would be stopped,” Carlisle explained.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Now, I spoke with Dr. Banner. He told me that Dr. Benson will be here in an hour or so. She’s well-known around the Pacific Northwest for her treatment of victims of abuse, sexual, emotional and physical abuse and assault victims. She specializes in it,” Carlisle said. “She used to work for the FBI as a profiler, but couldn’t do it anymore, wanting to focus on helping the survivors of these crimes.”

“What does she look like?” I asked.

“She’s tall, a little shorter than me, with dark hair and dark eyes. I’ve seen her on the witness stand for various cases,” Carlisle said. “Now, Bella got you some clothes since she assumed that you probably didn’t have anything. Some of it is her ex-husband’s and the rest she got herself.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to pay her back,” I frowned.

“You’re not. She’s doing this because she loves you,” Carlisle said, offering me a hand.

Dr. Marina Benson

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I watched as Edward eventually drifted off to sleep. He was exhausted, but I could tell that his sleep wasn’t restful. His face was drawn and his muscles were tense, almost ready to strike. I frowned, incredibly pissed off at what Esme did this to this sweet boy. No one should have been through this.

“Sleep well,” I whispered, brushing a hair away from his forehead. He flinched, but eventually snuggled into the bed. I got up from the bed and went into living room. Bella was curled up in on the couch and crying, a steady stream of tears falling down her pale cheeks. “Little One.”

“I’m fine, Carlisle,” she said, wiping her face. “I’m just …”

“Concerned? Worried?” I asked, sitting next to her and holding her tightly.

“Feeling guilty. I should have done more, Carlisle,” she hissed. “MORE. I let my stupid fucking pride get in the way and he was tortured almost two months in the clutches of Bitchme and her evil, disgusting minions. He’s broken and it’s my fault.”

“No, Bella. It’s not. It’s Esme’s fault. It’s her fault that Edward’s like this. Not yours,” I soothed, rubbing Bella’s back.

“What can I do for him? I’m terrified that he won’t trust me ever again,” Bella muttered, leaning her cheek against my shoulder. “Carlisle, will he come back from this?”

“Despite all he’s been through, Edward still sees the good in people,” I whispered. 

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“You seem quiet, Edward,” Jared murmured. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I answered absent-mindedly. “Tired.” I stared out the window as we drove through downtown Seattle to Swan Towers. I sighed, resting my cheek on my hand.

“You can talk to me, Edward. You seem to get sadder and sadder each time I see you,” Jared frowned. “Do you need money?”

I need a new fucking job and to get away from the Devil who wears Prada. “Money can’t help me, Jared. I’m a lost cause,” I said, sharing too much. If Esme found out that Jared knew about our deal, he’d be … I couldn’t risk having him get hurt? Or worse, Esme’s wrath on my mom.

“You’re not, Edward. Don’t ever say that. I’m worried about you. Please, talk to me,” Jared pleaded.

“I can’t, Jared,” I whispered, closing my eyes. I can’t run the risk of you talking to Esme and … I shook my head, looking back up to my driver. I had to deflect the conversation. “Did Esme tell you about my new client?”

“She did. Congratulations,” Jared replied, his eyes filled with worry for me. He pulled up to the front entrance of Swan Towers. I got out, slinging my bag over my shoulders. I groaned inwardly at the pain I felt in my arms. Jared got out and he stopped me. He was a tall man, just a few inches taller than me. He put his hands on my shoulders. I kept my face impassive, but the slight pressure he put on my arms was killing me. “I don’t know your story, Edward. I know you’re a good kid and that you’ve had a hard life. If there’s anything that I can do to help you. Please?” He handed me a card. 

“This is my personal cell number. If you need me, I’ll be there for you. You remind me so much of my son. I lost him at a young age and I don’t want to lose you, too.”

“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “What happened?”

“He died, committed suicide,” Jared answered. “Because he didn’t ask for help. He kept a secret that ate him alive and in the end, he lost his life because of it. I tried to push him, but he would just shut me out. I can see that whatever you’re hiding is doing the same thing to you. You’re not alone, Edward. After driving you for almost two years, I’d like to think that we’re more than just acquaintances. I consider you a friend.”

Jared