“Kid, I love you and all, but my old legs are fucking
killing me,” Carlisle said, rubbing my back. “You may be young and spry, but
I’ve got a fake hip that needs to move.”
I pulled back, sitting on my ass and wiping my eyes. “I’m
sorry. I’ll go …” I got up and Carlisle dragged me by the arm to the couch in
his suite.
“You put your ass on that couch and talk to me about why
you’re so upset,” Carlisle said, sitting down next to me. “I mean, I could
figure it out that it has to do with Jared, but there’s more.”
“You’re right,” I snorted humorlessly. “I went to my mom
first and I just couldn’t get past her abandoning me. I know that I’m working
on that, but I’m still struggling. I still have a ton of resentment toward her.
Carmen asked me how grieved for my father and I said that I didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you?” Carlisle asked.
“Because I had to take over where my dad left off,” I said,
sitting forward and thrusting my hands into my hair. “Mom was useless and we
had to make sure that …”
“You became the man of the house,” Carlisle murmured. I
nodded, looking at him and trying not to cry again. You’re such a pussy, Edward. It’s no wonder why Charlie hates you. “Your
wounds, both physical and emotional, are still so raw right now. It’s going to
take a lot of time before you can truly forgive your mom, grieve for your dad,
heal from your ordeal and move past all of this. If that’s even possible. There
is no magical cure-all for that, Edward. I just know that your mom is probably
beating herself up over what she did.”
“She is treating me like I’m still her little boy. Her sweet
boy. I’m not that anymore. I’m not sweet,” I spat.
“Bella would disagree. She loved that Christmas picnic you
planned for you two,” Carlisle said, his lips curving into a crooked smirk.
“That was definitely very sweet.”
“I’m sweet to her because I adore her,” I shrugged. “But, I
can’t be the same to my mom. Not after knowing that it was her coping mechanism to shut down and
abandon me. I love her, yes, but I can’t go back to the way things were before
my dad died. When he died, so did I, when I had to become the person who made
decisions for both of us.” I took off my glasses, pinching my nose. “On top of
all these feelings with my mom, I’m struggling with the death of Jared and the
contents of that envelope.”
“What was it?” Carlisle asked. “Emmett was pretty secretive
about the details. I knew that it was a revised will, but that was it …”
“He left me everything, Carlisle,” I breathed. “His house,
his car, money in two bank accounts and a life insurance policy. It was all
transferred to my name and signed by Marcus Volturi and another witness. He
also left me instructions for his death, what he wanted to be done.”
“And what’s that?” Carlisle questioned, his face open and
his eyes filled with concern.
“He wanted to be cremated with a
memorial,” I said. “I just don’t think that’s enough!”
