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I was sitting anxiously in a conference room at the Seattle Courthouse. Bella was with me, as well as Rose and Carlisle. Uncle Peter was working at Swan Towers and Emmett had begun investigating a new case. Liam was in the grand jury room with Jasper. Alice was waiting outside of the room, praying that her husband wouldn’t completely melt down. Jared was going to testify after lunch and then the case would go to the grand jury.

“Edward, you’re going to gnaw off your fingers,” Bella said, lowering my thumb from my mouth. I’d started biting my nails during my time in Port Angeles and it only got worse the more anxious I became.

“Sorry,” I whispered. “I just hope that Jasper is okay. You know?”

“He’s been working with Dr. Benson and his own therapist down in Los Angeles. He’s doing much better since I met them in mid-October,” Bella said. “At least, that’s what Alice said.”

“I’ll just be happy once the two of them are in here,” I said, bringing my thumb back to my mouth. Bella snorted, taking my hand and twining our fingers together. I smiled sheepishly.

Shortly after our argument about my fingers, Alice and Jasper came into the conference room. Jasper was pale and covered in sweat. His movements were jerky and he was deep in a panic attack. “Jazzy, you’re safe,” Alice cooed, reaching into her purse. She pulled out a bottle of medication. Rose got up and handed her a water bottle. “Deep breaths, Jazz. Esme will pay for her crimes. You will help put her away.”

“Put her away,” Jasper choked out, gripping Alice’s jacket. Their foreheads touched and he calmed, slightly. Alice managed to give Jasper the medicine she took out and she breathed him, slowly and deeply. Jasper even went so far as putting his gnarled hand on Alice’s chest, feeling her heartbeat. With one more deep breath, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. “I’m sorry, Ali. I’m so sorry.”

“Shhhhhhhhhhh, you’re okay, Jazzy,” Alice said, scratching her fingers in his hair. He looked up, cupping her face and kissed her tenderly. 

Seattle Courthouse

Alice Whitlock

Jasper Whitlock

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I was released from the hospital the day following Charlie’s explosion. I went directly to Bella’s side and I sat next to her for an hour, begging for forgiveness. However, it felt wrong for me to be there. I was not her family. I was this parasite and she didn’t need that. I kissed her temple, murmuring my love for her and I left the hospital. I started walking, ending up at a marina.

“Fancy seeing you here,” said a male voice. I turned around, seeing Peter smoking a cigarette. “Carlisle said that you had been released, but I figured that you’d be with Bella.”

“I’m not family. I have no right to be there,” I said.

“Fucking Charlie,” Peter snapped. “You are as much a part of our family as I am.” He walked toward me, tossing the cigarette onto the ground. “I love my brother, but he tends to talk out of his ass when he’s emotional. He knew what you had endured and yet, he still attacked. I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged. “I need to learn to deal with it,” I whispered. “I’m not good for her.”

“Bullshit,” Peter said. “I remember seeing you two at the opening of Swan Towers. My niece had a light in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in years, since her mother passed away. And there was something about you that seemed linked to her.”

“But, you know what happened to me and what my life was. I was a whore,” I spat. “Women used me, abused me and I got paid for it.”

“Edward, I know why you did it and it wasn’t because you had a choice. Esme, she forced you,” Peter replied. “But, I can say that until I’m blue in the face and it won’t make a lick of difference until you actually believe it, Edward. Do you love my niece?”

“With my entire heart,” I said. “But, I’m not go …”

“You are good enough. You’re a loving, kind man, despite all that happened to you. Yes, you’re dealing with a lot of bullshit right now, but we’re all in your corner. Charlie will come around. If he doesn’t, I’ll kick his ass,” Peter snorted, winking at me.

“Why do all of you believe in me?” I asked. “I can’t even believe in myself.”

“Because you’re still alive and here, Edward. You could have curled up and given up, but you didn’t. You fought your way out, with a little help from a spitfire named Bella,” Peter said. “Now, let’s get you back inside. I only came out here since I wanted a smoke. It’s freezing out here!”

Uncle Peter Swan

Edward Masen

Port Angeles Marina

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I was released from the hospital the day following Charlie’s explosion. I went directly to Bella’s side and I sat next to her for an hour, begging for forgiveness. However, it felt wrong for me to be there. I was not her family. I was this parasite and she didn’t need that. I kissed her temple, murmuring my love for her and I left the hospital. I started walking, ending up at a marina.

“Fancy seeing you here,” said a male voice. I turned around, seeing Peter smoking a cigarette. “Carlisle said that you had been released, but I figured that you’d be with Bella.”

“I’m not family. I have no right to be there,” I said.

“Fucking Charlie,” Peter snapped. “You are as much a part of our family as I am.” He walked toward me, tossing the cigarette onto the ground. “I love my brother, but he tends to talk out of his ass when he’s emotional. He knew what you had endured and yet, he still attacked. I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged. “I need to learn to deal with it,” I whispered. “I’m not good for her.”

“Bullshit,” Peter said. “I remember seeing you two at the opening of Swan Towers. My niece had a light in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in years, since her mother passed away. And there was something about you that seemed linked to her.”

“But, you know what happened to me and what my life was. I was a whore,” I spat. “Women used me, abused me and I got paid for it.”

“Edward, I know why you did it and it wasn’t because you had a choice. Esme, she forced you,” Peter replied. “But, I can say that until I’m blue in the face and it won’t make a lick of difference until you actually believe it, Edward. Do you love my niece?”

“With my entire heart,” I said. “But, I’m not go …”

“You are good enough. You’re a loving, kind man, despite all that happened to you. Yes, you’re dealing with a lot of bullshit right now, but we’re all in your corner. Charlie will come around. If he doesn’t, I’ll kick his ass,” Peter snorted, winking at me.

“Why do all of you believe in me?” I asked. “I can’t even believe in myself.”

“Because you’re still alive and here, Edward. You could have curled up and given up, but you didn’t. You fought your way out, with a little help from a spitfire named Bella,” Peter said. “Now, let’s get you back inside. I only came out here since I wanted a smoke. It’s freezing out here!”

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I journaled until my eyes felt like sand paper and my head was throbbing from exhaustion. It wasn’t until Ellie took the journal from my hand and pushed me onto the couch with a pillow, a tiny blanket and an eye mask that I stopped. I slept hard until Carlisle shook me awake. It was dim in the waiting room, the sun just peaking over the horizon.

“Bella?” I asked, my voice scratchy and sore.

“The doctors are here. They want to speak to you and Rose,” Carlisle said.

“And my mom?”

“She’s speaking with Dr. Benson and Dr. Banner. They came up here after I called them. Agent Dean sent the helicopter for them,” Carlisle explained. “Your mom is being observed under their care. But, talk to the doctors about Bella.”

“Will you come?” I asked, gripping his arm. “If she’s …”

“She’s not,” Carlisle whispered, hugging me. “But, I’ll go with you, son. Come on.”

I stiffly got up, following him into a small conference room off the waiting area. Rose was in there, looking disheveled and exhausted. I sat down next to her. She took my hand, threading our fingers together. Ellie was also in the room, speaking quietly on the phone. Turning, she said, “The doctor is on her way.”

“Thank you,” Rose said.

Ellie left the room, leaving the door open. Slipping inside, the small doctor who had spoken to me in the hallway sat down. She looked weary. “My name is Dr. Monroe and I was one of the doctors working on Isabella.”

“Bella,” I piped in. “She prefers to be called Bella.”

“Bella,” Dr. Monroe repeated. “Right. Bella is out of surgery and in recovery. She’s in a medically induced coma at this point. The bullet caused severe trauma to her lung, ribs and ended up just to the right of her spinal column.”

“You mentioned something about her heart,” I said, tightening my hand around Rose’s.

“Her heart is fine. Strong,” Dr. Monroe said, smiling. “With the x-rays and CT scans, the location was suspect, but thankfully, it didn’t cause any damage to her heart or pericardium. We will monitor that, but she’s in the clear for that.”

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I don’t remember the ride back to the hotel. Carlisle had given me one of my anti-anxiety pills and a pain pill. I was numb, for which I was eternally grateful. I needed numb. The constant pain from my injuries and now my broken heart from Esme taking my mom, it was too much. I also felt badly for yelling at Bella. The pain in her eyes was almost too much to bear as I blamed her for everything.

She didn’t deserve my anger. If anything, I was the one to blame. It was my fault that the two women I loved were in this position. Bella was in danger because of Esme and was a walking target. My mom was an innocent bystander and would probably be killed because of Esme’s maliciousness. If that happened, I don’t know what I’d do.

Death sounds like a good option.

I shook off Esme’s evil voice from my mind, encouraging me to end it all. I couldn’t. I had to stay strong, though I didn’t have any strength left. I was so done.

“Edward, do you want anything to eat?” Bella asked, her voice quiet and her actions hesitant.

“I’m not hungry,” I whispered. “Just tired.”

“I can imagine,” she said, reaching for my hand. I let her take it, but I felt guilty accepting any sort of comfort from her. My mom was suffering because of me. I didn’t deserve anything that Bella was giving me. Her generosity, her kindness, her love … I truly was worthless. “Edward, I can see the hamster working in your head. Don’t go there.”

“Why not?” I asked, taking my hand back. “My mom is in this position because of me. It’s my fault! Everything is my fault!”

“It’s not, Edward,” she said, her tiny hands taking my face. 

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“Edward, you have to calm down,” Carlisle said soothingly. “Dr. Banner is a wonderful doctor.”

“It’s not the doctor,” I hissed. “I hurt Bella’s feelings.” I gripped my hair, remembering how she looked when pleaded for Carlisle to stay with me.

“She understands that you don’t want her to know. Her feelings may have been hurt, but she wants the best for you. She gets that we have this weird bond,” Carlisle chuckled. “It’s a trust thing. She gets it.”

“I don’t want her to see them,” I frowned. “Or any of my …”

“Dr. Banner will probably have to take pictures for the police investigation,” Carlisle grimaced, holding up a digital camera. “Besides your back, what else is there?”

“My wrists, whip marks on my legs and butt and I was forced to have sex with Esme, my dick is raw,” I muttered. “Thankfully, the clients I went to were mainly interested in my pain and not me giving them pleasure.”

There was a tentative knock. Bella poked her head inside. “Dr. Banner is here and I just got a phone call from Emmett. They’re on their way to take your statement,” she said.

“Did they get anything from Esme’s office?” Carlisle asked.

“They got tons, but …” she trailed off. “I’ll tell you once Dr. Banner’s done.” She looked pale and wouldn’t look me in the eye. “I’m going to Rose’s. Call me down there when you’re finished.” She opened the door and an older gentleman walked in. He was tall and distinguished, but had a warm, friendly smile.

“Edward?” he asked, walking to me. He was deliberate with his actions and he held out his hand. “I’m Dr. Richard Banner. I’ll be taking care of you today and for the foreseeable future. It’s nice to meet you.” I shook his hand, eyeing him warily. “Now, I know that you were in a situation that was, um, how do I put it? Fucking hell on earth?”

“That’s putting it mildly,” I whispered. 

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I held Bella, sobbing like a freaking baby. I was such a fucking mess. It took Carlisle almost two hours to convince me to go to the hotel. I begged to stay with him. I didn’t want Bella to see me like this.

Broken.

Battered.

Ashamed.

Empty.

Lost.

Carlisle said that she would never forgive him if I didn’t at least see her. He was gentle and patient as I sat in the car in the parking garage, working up the courage to ride up to her penthouse suite. With each passing floor, I was growing more anxious but Carlisle held my hand and told me that I was strong and resilient.

My ass.

Seeing her was too much. She had not changed. If anything, she was far more beautiful than I remembered. Her hair was braided over her shoulder, her alabaster skin was free of all makeup and her eyes were filled with such concern.

Pity, you fool. She pities you.

I couldn’t stand the pity, so I tried to flee. Carlisle calmed me down, explaining that I could stay with Rose if I wanted, or with him, but I didn’t. I wanted to stay with Bella, but I didn’t want her fucking pity. Then, she walked closer to me and I could smell her sweet fragrance. She said that she missed me and she began apologizing. I took her hand, pressing it to my cheek. The warmth of her hand sent shivers down my spine and made my empty heart began beating again. When her other hand cupped my face and her espresso-colored eyes bore into mine as she told me she loved me, I lost it. The tears came down and she pulled me to her body. I collapsed under the weight of what had happened and held her to my chest, letting all of my walls down.