Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Buying Love Teaser

Parking behind the garage, I got out of the car and went into Jared, now Edward’s, home. It was quiet, but I could see that Edward and Marina were there. Her bag was next to the door and Edward’s running shoes were just inside. I checked the fridge, noting that it was pretty empty. I logged into PeaPod and ordered some basics like milk, eggs, bacon and some other things. I scheduled the order to arrive in a couple of hours. I’d make dinner and hopefully talk to a calmer Edward.

Marina came downstairs, her long brown hair pulled up in a low ponytail. “He’s resting,” she said, putting down some gauze and tape. “I’m surprised that he exploded.”

“Really?” I asked, guiding her to the living room.

“Okay, let me rephrase. I expected him to explode a lot sooner,” she sighed. “He’s had a few setbacks, the first when you were injured. His progress should have had more jagged edges, I suppose.”

“What can I do?”

“Be there for him. He told me about his shame and how he hates the fact that the world will know it,” Marina replied, crossing her legs. “That was his trigger. He wanted to punish himself and it came out of nowhere.”

“I should have seen this coming,” I grumbled.

“You’re also battling your own demons, Bella. Granted, you’re almost back to normal …”

“Physically? Yes. But, I’m ashamed of my body. I used to be so proud of it. I’m littered with scars and I feel ugly,” I shrugged.

“Edward has his own scars. He loves you regardless,” Marina smiled.

“Does he really?” I asked. “Or does he feel like he has to love me because I saved him.”

“That was my initial fear, but he does adore you,” Marina nodded. “He said that you are the shining light in his life. You are the one thing that’s going well for him. Granted, right now he doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of you, but he loves you so much.”

“Will he be able to testify?”

“He will. I’ll be there in case he needs sedation,” Marina said, taking my hand. “But, after this, he will finally be able to move forward.” She pursed her lips, looking out the window. “He was trying to be strong for everyone else, but his body and mind just crumbled when he got the notification to testify.”


“That makes sense,” I frowned. “It was Rose who mentioned to me that Edward may freak out because of his past. I should have seen it.”

I'm sorry that I've been a total failure on posting teasers for this. I promise to do better. Teasers on TUESDAYS and SATURDAYS. At least, that's my hope! LOL! 

Monday, August 8, 2016

Buying Love Update

Buying Love Chapter 86 Update on FicPad

Buying Love Chapter 86 Update on AO3

Buying Love Chapter 86 Update on FFn

Buying Love Chapter 86 Update on TWCS

The trial was starting today. It made for a very somber Valentine’s Day. Edward was distracted and nervous. Hell, so was I. We tried to celebrate, enjoying a meal in a private dining room at an exclusive restaurant, but it didn’t pan out that way. We ended up talking about the trial and getting into a fight about the trial and what was going to happen after it was finished. So, we went home and slept in separate bedrooms.

It sucked.

We both apologized the next day, but Edward was so on edge because of this uncertainty. I didn’t blame him. Truly, I didn’t. Esme tortured the man for ten years of his life and he was moving forward with his life, but that was put on pause until the trial was over.

During the trial, Edward and I were not allowed in the courtroom. We were going to testify for the prosecution and were scheduled to be up at the end of the week. Almost everyone who had testified at the grand jury were going to be testifying at the trial, with the exception of a few people. Elianna had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized. She was heavily medicated and unable to testify.

“I’m going to work out,” Edward said. He was wearing a tight shirt and a pair of shorts. “I just can’t sit here and …”

“Do you want company?” I asked.

“Probably not. The punching bag and I have a date,” he deadpanned. “Jasper may join me since he’s feeling the same way as I am, but it all depends on whether or not he can get a ride to the hotel after meeting with Dr. Benson.”

“I can send a car,” I suggested. Alice and Jasper moved into a furnished apartment after the first of the year. Their home was on the market down in Los Angeles and they were in the process of moving. However, they wanted to focus their attention on the trial and finding a job for both Alice. She put in for a transfer in her advertising firm, but was denied. She was looking around in the Seattle advertising market, but working remotely until she was hired full-time.

“It’s okay, Bella,” Edward said. Grabbing a water bottle, he gave me a tight smile and left our penthouse suite. I slumped back, crossing my arms over my chest. Edward was so morose and I understood his feelings. But, I didn’t like them. Slipping on some shoes, I went downstairs to do some work for the hotel. I was taking time off for the trial, but was still able to do my job. Someone had to do it. Uncle Peter had to deal with some issue with one of the hotels in New York and Charlie was still incommunicado.

That. Pissed. Me. Off.


Your daughter nearly fucking dies and you disappear? Smooth, Charlie. Really smooth.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Buying Love Teaser

I watched as Edward fell apart. He was curled up in a little ball as Peter screamed at Charlie. And when he slumped onto the ground, his eyes shut and his body trembling in abject fear. Turning to them, I screamed, “Will both of you shut the fuck up! We’re going to get kicked out by security and I need some help.”

Peter smacked Charlie’s head and crouched down to where Edward was in a heap. “I hope you’re happy, Charlie. You know what happened to him. Rose told you in explicit detail what this young man went through. Yet, you still got in his face. You still hurt him. If Bella was awake, she’d tear you a new asshole,” Peter sneered.

“It was because of him that she’s here!” Charlie snapped.

“No, Charlie. It’s not. She made the decision to go after Esme on her own,” I said calmly, placing Edward’s head in my lap. I tenderly ran my fingers through his hair. “If you can’t handle him being here, then you may need to back off, Charlie. She loves him.”

“But, my little girl,” Charlie sniffled. “She’s fighting for her life. I cannot walk away.”

“Neither can he,” I said. “He would do anything for her. He would die for her, but he’s already beating himself up about what went down. However, he faced the monster that tortured him for ten years, Charlie. He went in there so he could help his mom and help Bella. Both of them would have died if he hadn’t gone in there.”

“Take a walk, Chuck,” Peter said coolly. “When you can be in the same room as Edward without screaming at him, we’ll let you back in to see your daughter. For now, we have to preserve his mental health as much as possible. Come on. Let’s go.” Peter grabbed Charlie’s arm and dragged him out of the stairwell. “I’ll get a doctor or a nurse for Edward, Rose.”


“Thank you, Peter,” I said quietly. The two of them left and I kept massaging Edward’s scalp. “I’m here, Edward. I know that I’m not Bella, but I’ll do my best to keep you safe.” Sheri and another nurse came into the stairwell. Edward was lifted onto a gurney and rolled out of the ICU. I followed him as they brought him down to the emergency department. They admitted him, giving him an IV and some medication in the IV. His distressed face smoothed out and he settled into the gurney. I told the doctor about his injuries and that he was under the care of Dr. Banner and Dr. Benson. 

Peter Swan

Charlie Swan

Monday, May 23, 2016

Buying Love Update

Buying Love Chapter 69 Update on FicPad

Buying Love Chapter 69 Update on AO3

Buying Love Chapter 69 Update on FFn

Buying Love Chapter 69 Update on TWCS

When I woke up, I felt refreshed, but stiff. I looked over at the digital clock and saw that it was nine. However, I was confused. The sun was shining in my room. I sat up, rubbing my face and stumbling to the window. I had slept all day, missing dinner and the opportunity to go back to Bella. I turned on my heel, going to shower and clean up.

After my shower, I dressed in a pair of jeans that were in the closet and a heavy sweater. Stuffing my feet into some hiking boots, I went downstairs, holding the FBI jacket that Emmett gave me yesterday. Rose was in the dining room, nibbling on some eggs. My mom sitting next to her and Carlisle was in the living room reading a newspaper. Rose blinked up, smiling. “He lives!”

“Stop,” I said, running my hand through my damp hair. “I guess I was more tired than I expected.”

“You slept for nearly two days, Edward. You were exhausted,” Mom said, giving me a shy smile.

“Two days? I slept for two days?” I barked. “How’s Bella? I need to see her!”

“She’s still sedated,” Carlisle said, pushing me into a chair. “Calm down, Edward. You’re going to give yourself a panic attack.”

“Too late,” I said, my heart stammering.

Rose moved to me, giving me some water. She pulled out my prescription, showing it to me. “Here are your anti-anxiety pills, Edward. Do you want one?”

“They make me tired. I have to …” I panted. I closed my eyes, reaching for the bottle and shaking out one pill. I quickly downed it, trying to calm my breathing. A few moments later, I could feel the effects of the meds. Blowing out another breath, I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes. “Sorry.”

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Buying Love Teaser

When I woke up, I felt refreshed, but stiff. I looked over at the digital clock and saw that it was nine. However, I was confused. The sun was shining in my room. I sat up, rubbing my face and stumbling to the window. I had slept all day, missing dinner and the opportunity to go back to Bella. I turned on my heel, going to shower and clean up.

After my shower, I dressed in a pair of jeans that were in the closet and a heavy sweater. Stuffing my feet into some hiking boots, I went downstairs, holding the FBI jacket that Emmett gave me yesterday. Rose was in the dining room, nibbling on some eggs. My mom sitting next to her and Carlisle was in the living room reading a newspaper. Rose blinked up, smiling. “He lives!”

“Stop,” I said, running my hand through my damp hair. “I guess I was more tired than I expected.”

“You slept for nearly two days, Edward. You were exhausted,” Mom said, giving me a shy smile.

“Two days? I slept for two days?” I barked. “How’s Bella? I need to see her!”

“She’s still sedated,” Carlisle said, pushing me into a chair. “Calm down, Edward. You’re going to give yourself a panic attack.”

“Too late,” I said, my heart stammering.

Rose moved to me, giving me some water. She pulled out my prescription, showing it to me. “Here are your anti-anxiety pills, Edward. Do you want one?”


“They make me tired. I have to …” I panted. I closed my eyes, reaching for the bottle and shaking out one pill. I quickly downed it, trying to calm my breathing. A few moments later, I could feel the effects of the meds. Blowing out another breath, I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes. “Sorry.”